Wonderful Visitor

Carrie and I had a wonderful visit tonight. Was from a dear old friend that has come around once in awhile but not often enough! We chatted, we laughed, and we took pictures. First time that Carrie and I have officially taken pictures together! Is a monumental thing. It is the showing that she is mine and I am hers. I know we mean lots to many people but we mean the most to each other. Isn't that the way it is suppost to be!! Was a wonderful evening, which made up for the day. Carrie and I were both kinda cranky for the day. Not like clashing cranky, just cranky. 

I can't believe how quickly Carrie has grown. It seems like yesterday I brought her home and I was doing was feeding her and changing her bum. Now its feed her, change her, play with her, let her play on own, teach her things, and put her to bed on her own. She is sleeping in her own bedroom. Granted it has only been 3 days, but still. Brings a tear to the eye to think of how much less she needs me than when she was first born. I know I know, she still needs me and I will gladly be there for anything she needs. Just seems to be happening so quickly.

Ok, enough about that on to me! Lets see. Went to the dentist last week. Have 2 cavities. That not bad considering I haven't been to a dentist in 10 or more years. So, I go get them filled next week and then oral care is done for 6 months. 

As for getting checked out and getting a regular doctor. I was to call on the 23rd to make a physical appointment for the month of October. I called 20 minutes after the office opened and there were no openings for the month, so I wait til the end of October to call and see about Novermber. If that doesn't suck I don't know what does. Was really excited about seeing if everything is ok and now I have to wait longer. What kind of system is that!!! I do however have an ultrasound appointment to make sure all is ok in the abdomen! that is next week too so that will be interesting!

Weight loss is there. No real change with anything, although I am doing more work at the moment. Moving my stuff into one room and moving that room into my room means more trips up and down the stairs, so I guess that helps! Will see if there is any real change on Thursday. Am making Thursday morning my weigh and measure time. Don't want to do it every day due to becoming obsessive about it, but still want to track the progress!

Lastly, the smoking. Was doing well. Was down to 8 smokes for a day or two and then it happend again. Things came up and smokes came into play and I right back up there. Am not up to the 25 before it all started, but was close on Saturday.  So, am thinking of just forgetting about the cutting things down and just go for it. After all, there is no temptations here at the moment. Is just me and my baby here today. The only thing that is stopping that is I do not know how when I really in need of that smoke, what will I do. Anything but take it out on my baby!! That is my scary thought! Chances are I have that so prominent in my mind that I would not, but she doesn't deserve it.  Yes, I know, I am just making excuses and talking myself out of it. I wonder how long I could go without a cigarette?? hhhmmmm.... think I just thought of a new way to think about it!  I not quitting, I seeing how long I can go without a cigarette! See if I can make it longer than last time I quit. Made it a whole 111 days before officially lighting up again!  I wonder.... 111 days from tomorrow would be January 13th. That doesn't seem like very long away!

I CAN do it.... I know I can. Now show everyone I can do it. I deserve to change, Carrie deserves the change, and everyone else deserves to see the change. It may not seem big to many people, but it could mean the world to me.


Just a thought I had. I know I have 1 avid reader to the blog, but I do wonder if anyone else reads this. And if they do.... do they think I crazy or is it just more of the same or what. I guess I always wonder what others are thinking! It just crossed my mind, so I thought I would type it out!

A thought for tomorrow. Am thinking of packing a lunch and taking my little girl to the park for the day tomorrow. We should go there at some point tomorrow. Would mean a 10 minute bike ride and lots of playing at the park. Also would mean I could be even forther away from the temptation of smoking!  Hopefully it is not going to rain tonight and botch that plan. Then we have Uncle Pat coming to Visit (with the dog) and stay on Wednesday. Thursday is swimming with Arianna and the kids, and Saturday is the family is coming home. So, pretty busy for the next little while. Just have to find something to keep busy with on Friday. Sure I will think of something to do. If nothing else the last of the gardenning needs to be done!!!