It sure does. Only a few more hours til the new year comes pushing out the old year. What can I say about the old year. Not all that much really. Nothing really big or exciting happened. I had a friend move back into the city. Not that I have seen her, but I intend to remedy that come the new year. I gain 20 pounds and lost 13 of them! I got a job ( about time I did anyway). and I saw my daughter turn 2! Guess that one is a big one! Although every year will be a big one to me anyway!
As for the next year. I am pushing for a differnt kind of year. One full of new and different. I am determined to not have another year of blah at this time next year! So, to the list, the bucket list !
1. To own my own drivers license.
2. take Carrie to the zoo
3. be smoke free for a day
4. be smoke free for a week
5. be smoke free for a month
6. see 200 pounds on the weigh scale when I step on
7. See under 200 when I step on the scale
8. see the 180's on the scale
9. have a form of transportation or live where there is transportation
10. to be in or at a place where it is just Carrie and I
11. find a differing job than with Walmart.... or more stable hours dates and times!
12. get carrie into a daycare/dayhome to get her with more children!
13. go to the mountains with Carrie!
14. get Carrie to pee on the potty once for me
15. get carrie to be dry for a day
16. get Carrie to be dry for a week
17. Get Carrie to be dry for a month
18. Big girl bed for Carrie!
19. find something social for me to do!
20. be absolutly positive!
Some are pretty precise and others are kinda vague. I gonna keep them that way. Certain ones go together and others are very much apart. I keep them all that way to be that simple for me!I already have a handle on it cuz I am more positive about this all!! I guarantee that all CAN be done and WILL be done. It is that simple.
Happy New Year to all. And I hope for the resolove that you are looking for, and that which you are not looking for as well!!!!
cheers!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Tis the season over already!!!
Well, it is a couple days after christmas and all seems to be back to the normal already! Christmas had its up and downs. I had a sick baby for christmas this year which sucked the big one. She is on the mend now and back to her terrorizing ways! Just kidding, she doesn't terrorize, just doesn't slow down. It was a good time full of family, lots of good food and conversation, and an unexpected phone call. Oh how I enjoy when he calls me. It's never like we are on the phone. I see him sitting in front of me the moment he says hello Bambi! I get the warm fuzzy feeling that I always do when he calls. He is one of the few friends that for all the things I think when I see things or hear things, it doesn't matter when I hear or see him! It's kinda strange. Not sure if he is putting that power over me or I put that there to keep myself connected. Either way, for how strange it is, I think I would be lost without it! I guess that is what 13 years of friendship does to people!
In an earlier writing I wrote about seeing HIM again. And I did at work the other day. I had to snicker to myself. He was trying to pull of this funny little number with an old mans hat and young clothing and it made me laugh. For someone that I had such adoration for some months ago, its all gone now! Not sure where it went, but was kinda glad to see it go! Although he had my attention immediatly and until he left the store, it was not what I used to remember me doing! No thought of what I would do to him or wow look at that good looking. Was all about what was he thinking! Just to clarify the person above is not the same as this guy!
On other notes. Nothing has really changed. I haven't lost any weight (or even tried to) and no plan of quitting smoking. Have just been sitting back and enjoying the time that I am having. It's kind of odd that this past week I have totally been just in the moment and taking it all in! Has been extremely nice and hope I can bring this enjoyment into the new year and every year hence forth.
I have a friend that said something the other day and I agree with her. Instead of resolutions for the year she has created a "bucket list" for the year. Its the things she wants to have done by end of year. Kinda like my goals. I really like this idea and how simple it can really be. So, this I am going to try this year! Will probably turn into a goals list like usual, but I am going to try and bucket list it. Main categories are goind to be : weight loss, smoking, and a great achievement of getting Carrie and I on our own. If you are thinking its about time we get out on our own I agree!!! Think I may even throw in a getting drivers license in there! That would be a great asset to have!
Anyway, on that not I have a list to go and create! Will write them when I have a moment to !!!!
Have a very prosperous new year and If I don't write before then expect a great 2011!!!!!!!!
In an earlier writing I wrote about seeing HIM again. And I did at work the other day. I had to snicker to myself. He was trying to pull of this funny little number with an old mans hat and young clothing and it made me laugh. For someone that I had such adoration for some months ago, its all gone now! Not sure where it went, but was kinda glad to see it go! Although he had my attention immediatly and until he left the store, it was not what I used to remember me doing! No thought of what I would do to him or wow look at that good looking. Was all about what was he thinking! Just to clarify the person above is not the same as this guy!
On other notes. Nothing has really changed. I haven't lost any weight (or even tried to) and no plan of quitting smoking. Have just been sitting back and enjoying the time that I am having. It's kind of odd that this past week I have totally been just in the moment and taking it all in! Has been extremely nice and hope I can bring this enjoyment into the new year and every year hence forth.
I have a friend that said something the other day and I agree with her. Instead of resolutions for the year she has created a "bucket list" for the year. Its the things she wants to have done by end of year. Kinda like my goals. I really like this idea and how simple it can really be. So, this I am going to try this year! Will probably turn into a goals list like usual, but I am going to try and bucket list it. Main categories are goind to be : weight loss, smoking, and a great achievement of getting Carrie and I on our own. If you are thinking its about time we get out on our own I agree!!! Think I may even throw in a getting drivers license in there! That would be a great asset to have!
Anyway, on that not I have a list to go and create! Will write them when I have a moment to !!!!
Have a very prosperous new year and If I don't write before then expect a great 2011!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
another day, another thought or 2!!
Well, it has been awhile, yet again, and I truly cannot complain much!
I have been working for almost a month and I still enjoying most of it. There are moments (usually when I mess up and know that I did) that I sit there and cringe, but there are more moments of enjoy than not want to. I am getting along with everyone and have even made my own friends. I had quite the compliment today even. I was told that I was too nice and friendly to be a cashier! I thought it was funny, but I took it as a good thing! And to my surprise, I have not had the wonderful occasion of grumpy customer yet (knock on wood).
As for weight loss.... I am so very surprised at wherei sit. I am 3 pounds away from the goal that I half heartedly set in November. If memory serves me right, I did not set the goal of weight loss, it was to watch what I was eating. Who would have known that loss of weight would occur! I assume with the going back to work and such that this has helped with the whole thing! Whatever it is thank goodness and I hope it will keep going! I am feeling pretty good about it all!
The not smoking goal is still kinda back burner for me. I am still watching the amount that I smoke, but I am not putting lots of effort and energy into it at the moment. I am going to give it a good push come the new year. Won't make it a by the end of the year resolution, not an as of the first resolution. Making it right then usually sets me up for failure. Wanna make sure I can put 110% into it. Not a half hearted attempt. The fast coming holidays are too much to stress about another thing!
Well, I think that is all. Am starting to think of goals for the next year. Think I am going to shoot big for next year. If the mood stays the way that it is right now, I am going to achieve big things next year! Might be the year to try and find a way to be just Carrie and I! Love the parents and having them around always.... It is time to be just me and her! Time to see how well I can be mom without the grandparents! That will be a wonderful experience!
If I do not write before..... have a wonderful holiday season and will talk again before the new year for sure. I will write my goals for 2011 then!
I have been working for almost a month and I still enjoying most of it. There are moments (usually when I mess up and know that I did) that I sit there and cringe, but there are more moments of enjoy than not want to. I am getting along with everyone and have even made my own friends. I had quite the compliment today even. I was told that I was too nice and friendly to be a cashier! I thought it was funny, but I took it as a good thing! And to my surprise, I have not had the wonderful occasion of grumpy customer yet (knock on wood).
As for weight loss.... I am so very surprised at wherei sit. I am 3 pounds away from the goal that I half heartedly set in November. If memory serves me right, I did not set the goal of weight loss, it was to watch what I was eating. Who would have known that loss of weight would occur! I assume with the going back to work and such that this has helped with the whole thing! Whatever it is thank goodness and I hope it will keep going! I am feeling pretty good about it all!
The not smoking goal is still kinda back burner for me. I am still watching the amount that I smoke, but I am not putting lots of effort and energy into it at the moment. I am going to give it a good push come the new year. Won't make it a by the end of the year resolution, not an as of the first resolution. Making it right then usually sets me up for failure. Wanna make sure I can put 110% into it. Not a half hearted attempt. The fast coming holidays are too much to stress about another thing!
Well, I think that is all. Am starting to think of goals for the next year. Think I am going to shoot big for next year. If the mood stays the way that it is right now, I am going to achieve big things next year! Might be the year to try and find a way to be just Carrie and I! Love the parents and having them around always.... It is time to be just me and her! Time to see how well I can be mom without the grandparents! That will be a wonderful experience!
If I do not write before..... have a wonderful holiday season and will talk again before the new year for sure. I will write my goals for 2011 then!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
long time no write!
Well, it has been a long while and things have happend.
I am now gainfully employed by Walmart. Have been since Novermber the 23rd! Has been kinda fun. Am enjoying the time away from Carrie and she seems to not mind that I am gone. Just the mornings that I am not home she wonders about me! lol Am kinda wondering about it though. Just seems kinda to weird and out there! Me at Walmart working with my mom. But, I'll get over it. Just wish everyone would stop going to my mom saying I doing ok and talking about me and comparing me to her. I expected it, but can't wait for it to stop.
As for the meals I have been doing fairly well. As of Monday I am 13 pounds down. Am quite surprised actually. Have not been watching as much I had last month, but it still going down. I like these kind of surprises. If all works well, I could make the goal of being 200 by new years!!!! When I started I thought that would be a nice idea, not really a goal. Now it almost seems attainable! YAY ME!!!
I am not really in the christmas spirit this year. Am trying to get there cuz I love christmas, but ust can't seem to get there! Maybe once the tree and decorations are up that might be different. I hope the tree changes my feeling of christmas.
That about all I can think of. I am tired so, I can't get too excited! Will talk more when I get the energy!
I am now gainfully employed by Walmart. Have been since Novermber the 23rd! Has been kinda fun. Am enjoying the time away from Carrie and she seems to not mind that I am gone. Just the mornings that I am not home she wonders about me! lol Am kinda wondering about it though. Just seems kinda to weird and out there! Me at Walmart working with my mom. But, I'll get over it. Just wish everyone would stop going to my mom saying I doing ok and talking about me and comparing me to her. I expected it, but can't wait for it to stop.
As for the meals I have been doing fairly well. As of Monday I am 13 pounds down. Am quite surprised actually. Have not been watching as much I had last month, but it still going down. I like these kind of surprises. If all works well, I could make the goal of being 200 by new years!!!! When I started I thought that would be a nice idea, not really a goal. Now it almost seems attainable! YAY ME!!!
I am not really in the christmas spirit this year. Am trying to get there cuz I love christmas, but ust can't seem to get there! Maybe once the tree and decorations are up that might be different. I hope the tree changes my feeling of christmas.
That about all I can think of. I am tired so, I can't get too excited! Will talk more when I get the energy!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Day 13... I think
OK. 13 days of cutting back meals and such. As it stands I am down 9 pounds and feeling pretty good about it. I did know that the big loss would slow quite quickly, so here I sit. Although 4 pounds in a week is not bad either!! I sure will take it. Actually I didn't expect that much of a loss right away anyway. Is nice to see some of the reward already!!!
I know 9 pounds isn't alot, but I (for some odd reason) expected to put my pants on and have some big change in size. It was kinda funny, I was getting mad at myself for not fitting them. Then I put the realization in my head that it is only 9 pounds, not 50!! then I laughed at myself for it! The trying on the pants did make me wanna push even more to get into them comfortably again! So, I am stating this and allowing people to kick my butt for not doing it! Yes, that means you!!! lol. I am going to add exercise every day. I put some in 2 or 3 times this week, but I will admit it was half hearted and no where near enough. So, I gonna make it more from the heart and MORE of it! I am sick and tired of being fat and not being able to put ANY of my pants on comfortably and having the rolls cover over and having a bigger belly than boobs. The last one will be very difficult to get to considering I have small boobs! I Don't want to be skinny minnie, but smaller would be wonderful. If I haven't said it before my ultimate goal is be under 167 pounds. That is the lowerest number I ever remember on the scale! First goal is to hit the 200 pound mark. That way I be the same weight as I was in January!
As for the job I applied for in the wonderful world of Walmart. I am now a full fledged member of the team. I have orientation on Tuesday and Wednesday and then I get to start working. I am excited and scared too. Am very excited to get some time away from the princess. Think it will be good for the both of us! and the little bit of money doesn't hurt either!. I not sure how I am going to do with cranky customers though. Being christmas and a cashier will be interesting!
Can't wait to see what next week brings!
I know 9 pounds isn't alot, but I (for some odd reason) expected to put my pants on and have some big change in size. It was kinda funny, I was getting mad at myself for not fitting them. Then I put the realization in my head that it is only 9 pounds, not 50!! then I laughed at myself for it! The trying on the pants did make me wanna push even more to get into them comfortably again! So, I am stating this and allowing people to kick my butt for not doing it! Yes, that means you!!! lol. I am going to add exercise every day. I put some in 2 or 3 times this week, but I will admit it was half hearted and no where near enough. So, I gonna make it more from the heart and MORE of it! I am sick and tired of being fat and not being able to put ANY of my pants on comfortably and having the rolls cover over and having a bigger belly than boobs. The last one will be very difficult to get to considering I have small boobs! I Don't want to be skinny minnie, but smaller would be wonderful. If I haven't said it before my ultimate goal is be under 167 pounds. That is the lowerest number I ever remember on the scale! First goal is to hit the 200 pound mark. That way I be the same weight as I was in January!
As for the job I applied for in the wonderful world of Walmart. I am now a full fledged member of the team. I have orientation on Tuesday and Wednesday and then I get to start working. I am excited and scared too. Am very excited to get some time away from the princess. Think it will be good for the both of us! and the little bit of money doesn't hurt either!. I not sure how I am going to do with cranky customers though. Being christmas and a cashier will be interesting!
Can't wait to see what next week brings!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Day 10
Not sure why I am counting the days. Just feels like a neat thing to do! Anyway, I am feeling pretty good today! Within the week last week I have lost 6 pounds. Which means I am at 214 (as of Monday). What can I say other than WOW. I was totally amazed that I dropped that much by just cutting back the portions I was eating and putting more of the good stuff on the plate! I am still amazed! Can't believe that it is going that fast. I have to keep reminding myself how good this does feel to see results quickly. I am thankful for a quick result like this. I am quite the type to get discouraged quickly and be done with it! After all this is a big change that has lots of work to it. Just nice to see it pay off so quick! I am so psyched to continue now. Once I noticed the weight I immediatly thought, ok let keep it going. So I have put more exercise in. I wanna see how much more gets lost with a little exercise. It hasn't been large amounts BUT it is 20 minutes each day more active than I was last week! I have been walking the tread mill while Carrie asleep. Have gotten 20 yesterday and 20 so far today! I broke a sweat both times. But that is a good thing!
At the same time I have applied for a job. It is a job that I have been bugging my family that I would never do, but I did it. I applied at Walmart. I keep telling everyone that I don't want to add to our walmart family. Carrie and I the only 2 that have not worked at walmart!!! But I did it. Was talking to one of the ladies that does the scheduling the other day (I know her from the many visits to pick up mom) and she stated that she could make life easy by making my schedule the same or as close as she could to my moms schedule. That would make life way too easy! Car pool with mom and have dad babysit for me! This way the only inconvenience is having dad stay home. But once the money starts coming in, I can find a daycare or home for her to stay the day and dad can have his days back!! Now I just got to get a job with them! Here is to hoping! Would be great to bring in some money and get out of the house more often! I think it is time for Carrie and I to start having breaks from each other. We are getting bored with the things that we do together. For as much as I bring in new things it still is quite boring!
Anyway... Think all is said and done. Time to go and entertain the little darling!
One last note...... I sure do like this upswing. Am going to hang on to it for as long as possible! or as long as the fates have it coming to me! lol..... just kidding. I know I make my own happiness! and I intend to do it. Be sure to kick my ass if I start faltering again. I give full permission!
At the same time I have applied for a job. It is a job that I have been bugging my family that I would never do, but I did it. I applied at Walmart. I keep telling everyone that I don't want to add to our walmart family. Carrie and I the only 2 that have not worked at walmart!!! But I did it. Was talking to one of the ladies that does the scheduling the other day (I know her from the many visits to pick up mom) and she stated that she could make life easy by making my schedule the same or as close as she could to my moms schedule. That would make life way too easy! Car pool with mom and have dad babysit for me! This way the only inconvenience is having dad stay home. But once the money starts coming in, I can find a daycare or home for her to stay the day and dad can have his days back!! Now I just got to get a job with them! Here is to hoping! Would be great to bring in some money and get out of the house more often! I think it is time for Carrie and I to start having breaks from each other. We are getting bored with the things that we do together. For as much as I bring in new things it still is quite boring!
Anyway... Think all is said and done. Time to go and entertain the little darling!
One last note...... I sure do like this upswing. Am going to hang on to it for as long as possible! or as long as the fates have it coming to me! lol..... just kidding. I know I make my own happiness! and I intend to do it. Be sure to kick my ass if I start faltering again. I give full permission!
Friday, November 12, 2010
DAY 5
Well, it has been a week. All I can say is wow I made it! There were some rough moments where I was wondering if I was going to be able to make it to the next meal, but I always did. And funny enough, most times I made it without hunger. I guess I was really aver eating and not realizing it. We figured out the kinks throughout the week for things that we could cut or do differently. We even tested things and had my favorite breakfast this morning. I LOVE my dad's pancakes and can usually eat 4 or so. They tasted so good that is was hard to so just 2, but I did it! Carrie wonders whey we eating less than usual and she is starting to follow it too. She tells me, not so much mommy. To this I say ok, but if you still hungry after you can have more. The hard part is when she gets to have a candy or something and wants to share with mommy and mommy says no thank you. She has gotten mad at me saying no. Guess it is just as big of a change for her as it is for me.
Big surprise. I was going to get on the scale on Monday, make it a weekly thing. I couldn't stay away this morning. I know the chances of seeing a difference was not too likely, but I had to check! And SURPRISE!!! I was down 5 pounds. YAY ME!!! I was ssoo excited. I was at 220 on Monday and 215 on Friday. To those that say ah its just fluctuating weight lose and not really a loss..... suck it up. I am down 5 pounds and nothing is going to bring that down!!! That is what I needed to see. I know it will be slow, but the idea that it was down over being the same was a wonderful feeling. Enough to renew my drive and keep going with a vengance!
On the front of smoking, it is up again. With the focus on watching when and what I am eating there are times that I needed something to take the mind off of when the next meal was I smoked. It is after a glass or two of water and trying to find something else to do. Just haven't found the thing to do instead of it yet. Am going to keep trying different things to revanmp what I am doing. I know, one crutch for another. It will all work out though. Get the kinks out of one before the other. Slow and steady!!!
Think this weekend is going to be quite the challenge. I have visitors at the house for the weekend and a get together at the house tomorrow and a possible dinner and movie afterward. Good thing I have that boost of confidence. Would not want to lose that 5 pounds that I am ahead of the game. Is a good idea to let my dinner companion know before we go out. This will allow them to be aware of what we need to watch!
Will inform all how it all went on Monday when I do an official weigh in!!! lol
Big surprise. I was going to get on the scale on Monday, make it a weekly thing. I couldn't stay away this morning. I know the chances of seeing a difference was not too likely, but I had to check! And SURPRISE!!! I was down 5 pounds. YAY ME!!! I was ssoo excited. I was at 220 on Monday and 215 on Friday. To those that say ah its just fluctuating weight lose and not really a loss..... suck it up. I am down 5 pounds and nothing is going to bring that down!!! That is what I needed to see. I know it will be slow, but the idea that it was down over being the same was a wonderful feeling. Enough to renew my drive and keep going with a vengance!
On the front of smoking, it is up again. With the focus on watching when and what I am eating there are times that I needed something to take the mind off of when the next meal was I smoked. It is after a glass or two of water and trying to find something else to do. Just haven't found the thing to do instead of it yet. Am going to keep trying different things to revanmp what I am doing. I know, one crutch for another. It will all work out though. Get the kinks out of one before the other. Slow and steady!!!
Think this weekend is going to be quite the challenge. I have visitors at the house for the weekend and a get together at the house tomorrow and a possible dinner and movie afterward. Good thing I have that boost of confidence. Would not want to lose that 5 pounds that I am ahead of the game. Is a good idea to let my dinner companion know before we go out. This will allow them to be aware of what we need to watch!
Will inform all how it all went on Monday when I do an official weigh in!!! lol
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