As the wind howls in my ear I sit here and ponder all that is and all that was. Today is the where do I start and how do I finish. All the thoughts and ideas swirl around in my head like fish enjoying a current in the water. There are shimmers of light and darkness and all forms inbetween. I am amazed by the plight and relocation of all thoughts within an already swirling mind. You can get lost in all the ways a thought can take you.
The reality is starting to kick in. All the movements within the mind are slowing and just as quickly as they come they are gone. Wishing all that has entertained me for what seems to be hours could continue for all the days left. I realize this thought rollercoaster has taken only minutes to take me away to such a glorius place. As much as glorious, the reality of it all makes my skin crawl.
ok, now to fill in the rambling stated above. Just thinking of how all the things I have on the list are going to be completed within the year. Some are such great ideas and make my heart soar just waiting to do them and others literally make my skin crawl to think of the things needed to be done to complete them. All the things I can't wait to see seem so far away. Today not a good day for the zoo or taking Carrie to the mountains or even outside! I really can't wait to see how she blossoms and grows this year. Big year for her, full of potential and endless possiblities. I purchased her bed yesterday, so late next week will be the start of a big girl bed and the end of a baby crib. The only baby thing left to go are the diapers then I will have a full fledged little person capable of all things I am capable of! I believe she will flourish with the going into a daycare setting as well. Get her seeing with others her age are doing!
As usual I ponder the hows of changing myself. Why is it so difficult to get the get up and go when it involes one self. I read how everyone is changing this year and I know I must as well, but I am a little jealous of other peoples drive to succeed. They sound so determined and I wonder where mine is!
Before I start berrating myself I will stop writing and tend to the thing that makes me the happiest. My little tike is awake and I must go and cuddle her!
For yourself. Small steps ... tiny adjustments that will add up into a big thing. I'll be listing my progress on my page (it's on FB already) and you can see that I'm just making minute changes to reach my big goal. I think that's the secret to success. People who make huge changes to their lives all in one go will falter, and then quit because they figure they have failed. Why do that? Besides, you only fail if you quit. So ... little adjustments. Let your life get used to the new idea until it becomes normal. No stress.
ReplyDeleteYour yard is pretty flat, but do you have drifts forming somewhere? You could go dig out a fort with Carrie - the work will keep you warm, and once you are out of the wind, you won't notice the cold so much either. Don't even have to do it all in one go either ... Mom and daughter project and fresh air and exercise all in one go. ;) And lots of laughing. Warning, could lead to snowball fights.
Keep up the good work Ann! If you have trouble picking from the list, make a draw jar or something and then the project will be a mystery and the stress should ease about the less like-able jobs.
Those are my thoughts. <3