What a quaint little while. I am starting not to like work. Well, half and half. I love the idea of going to work, and I like interacting with the people, I just don't like the push. Not sure why this is bugging me so much but it is. They are pushing me to sell these Mastercard things and I hate the idea of it! It makes me feel just yucky asking about it!! I just can't put my finger on why they pushing so hard for it. They has even been word that they can write you up for it, because it is in your job duties! Not that I have seen this first hand, but if the word is out there, there must be some truth to it! So, I am trying to decide wether to suck it up or tell someone how I feel about it.
Anyway, I am almost through week one, and surprise, I am down 1 pound! Couldn't believe it, but I will take it none the less! So 5 more til I see 200!!! Yay me.
I got my haircut today. I feel decent yet again! I also took my baby swimming today. Was a really nice time with her. We haven't done much outside the house together in awhile! I think she enjoyed it too! She is growing so fast, I wonder where that little girl that I used to cuddle and feed with a bottle! AH
As for the smoking, these are the last few days of baselining! I have looked at last week and here is what I am seeing. The average is about 20 smokes a day and they are mainly when Carrie gives me a moment break or when I am bored, or routine times. Routine times are after meals and first thing in the morning. So, I am going to start with 16 smokes a day as of Monday and cut it down every 4 to 5 days. May cut some days numbers sooner, if I can handle it, but will go no more than 5 days with 1 number. So, if the numbering system goes well, I will be done in March. Yes, still a long ways away, but it will come closer than one thinks. I am thinking of making quit date between Feb 28 and March 11. My parents are going on a trip during that time and I will have 1 less distraction to detter me! Although my sister and brother in law will be here then and they will have that temptation. I should just throw myself in, because the temptation will always be there, but less temptation in the beginning would be great!
As for driving offer, I have had people offer me, just gotta make some plans to actually do it! GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA!!!! lol
Anyway, think that is all for now. Will plan a write soon!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Things on the GO!!!
Well, I have more things on the go. I have planned a mountain trip with my little girl!! Yay, Radium, here we come! Just 21 weeks away. On that not, I have 21 weeks to get my tummy down some. would be nice to, for once, not be so self aware while getting my bathing suit on! So, it is on, weight loss here I come! If you think about it, 2 pounds a week is healthy loss. So, if I aim for 40, it could definatly be a possibility! I am truly shooting for 20 pounds. That would mean that I could check off all the weight goals for the bucket list. 40 would be a greater number. It would mean that I would be the lightest that I can ever remember. Thik it has been stated before, but the lowest I remember is 167. 40 pounds would put me at 166!!! Wow, the idea of being light is astounding!
I have also started a saving account. I have put $600 into an account and am going to add at least $200 per month from now on! If all works right I could have $2000 by end of August. That should be enough to start a place of our own. It is official that WE WILL be moved out on our own by end of year! Would like to make it an August move, but September or October move would be ok too. Would like to stay out here for the summer, so that we can be part of all the wonderful things of out here. The garden, a big yard, a park just a bikeride away and the weekend camping trips! I will start looking at finding a different job come the summer and work from there.
I am also looking for someone to let me practise driving with their car. Mom leary of me driving in winter. My dear Lea thinks it would be good to practise now, and I agree with her! I have the gumption to practise now and I fear if I wait til spring that I will lose interest in it!
My little girl is doing great in her new bed. I was starting to wonder about it when there was3 nights where she awoke in the middle of the night and did not want to return to sleep. Oddly enough, after the 3 days she has slept through the night. Well, last night she awoke, but it was because she had fallen onto the floor! he he he. If she wouldn't have fallen, I bet she would not have woken up!
Think that is all for now!
I have also started a saving account. I have put $600 into an account and am going to add at least $200 per month from now on! If all works right I could have $2000 by end of August. That should be enough to start a place of our own. It is official that WE WILL be moved out on our own by end of year! Would like to make it an August move, but September or October move would be ok too. Would like to stay out here for the summer, so that we can be part of all the wonderful things of out here. The garden, a big yard, a park just a bikeride away and the weekend camping trips! I will start looking at finding a different job come the summer and work from there.
I am also looking for someone to let me practise driving with their car. Mom leary of me driving in winter. My dear Lea thinks it would be good to practise now, and I agree with her! I have the gumption to practise now and I fear if I wait til spring that I will lose interest in it!
My little girl is doing great in her new bed. I was starting to wonder about it when there was3 nights where she awoke in the middle of the night and did not want to return to sleep. Oddly enough, after the 3 days she has slept through the night. Well, last night she awoke, but it was because she had fallen onto the floor! he he he. If she wouldn't have fallen, I bet she would not have woken up!
Think that is all for now!
Monday, January 17, 2011
It started!!!!!
I get to start checking off my bucket list for the year! They are little things but I don't care.
First thing to check off is number 18. As of yesterday her big girl bed is set up and in use. night number 2 and no problems so far. Just waiting for the first fall out of bed and the wondering out of bed 10 times in a night to start happening! It is so exciting! I can't wait for those things because it is all part and parcel!
Second thing I get to check off is number 14. She peed in the potty for me today! Granted it was not a big pee, it was still a pee. That means she is on her way to knowing what to do on the potty. I made such a big deal out of it. I sang, danced, hugged, high fived her and everything. It was great. I didn't think I would get that excited over a little pee, but I did! Hope it is incentive for Carrie to try more often!
If I keep going at this rate I will have the list done by October! That would be rather fancy. Although I think I may have to revamp the list just a little. I have on 9 and 10 work of either staying at the house and being on our own. I am going to have to ponder wether we stay here or if we are going to go. This way I can make a more defined thing to shoot for. If I am going to put my efforts towards moving out, then I will put less emphasis on having own form of transportation and vise versa. Unless it is in somewhere like moving to Morinville! That could defenatly be an option for us. Away from the parents, but still close enough that they can come see us as often as they like. Guess it would be based on where I can find work and such. In a place like morinville I would need to have transportation though! still far enough away that those that want to see us or us to see them can contact, but those that have no interest can stay away! hhmmm.... the possibilities. Guess St. Albert works for that as well. Then I would not have to worry so much about finding the job quite yet!! Well, that will be my thoughts for the next couple of days!!
As for how I set up Carrie's bed. I put it over the register for the moment. the drawer that the register covers I have not put in and enough heat escapes from the hole that it keeps the room warm. In time I wanna move her to the bigger but let her get used to the bed before I move her rooms. rooms and bed may be too much for her all at once.
Anyway, all in all I feel pretty content and happy with where things are going! Can't wait to see what the rest of the list brings on. Think the next thing to work on is finding a vehicle and person to let me practise driving with their car!!! Be prepared to take the test just after the snow melts! he he he!!!!
First thing to check off is number 18. As of yesterday her big girl bed is set up and in use. night number 2 and no problems so far. Just waiting for the first fall out of bed and the wondering out of bed 10 times in a night to start happening! It is so exciting! I can't wait for those things because it is all part and parcel!
Second thing I get to check off is number 14. She peed in the potty for me today! Granted it was not a big pee, it was still a pee. That means she is on her way to knowing what to do on the potty. I made such a big deal out of it. I sang, danced, hugged, high fived her and everything. It was great. I didn't think I would get that excited over a little pee, but I did! Hope it is incentive for Carrie to try more often!
If I keep going at this rate I will have the list done by October! That would be rather fancy. Although I think I may have to revamp the list just a little. I have on 9 and 10 work of either staying at the house and being on our own. I am going to have to ponder wether we stay here or if we are going to go. This way I can make a more defined thing to shoot for. If I am going to put my efforts towards moving out, then I will put less emphasis on having own form of transportation and vise versa. Unless it is in somewhere like moving to Morinville! That could defenatly be an option for us. Away from the parents, but still close enough that they can come see us as often as they like. Guess it would be based on where I can find work and such. In a place like morinville I would need to have transportation though! still far enough away that those that want to see us or us to see them can contact, but those that have no interest can stay away! hhmmm.... the possibilities. Guess St. Albert works for that as well. Then I would not have to worry so much about finding the job quite yet!! Well, that will be my thoughts for the next couple of days!!
As for how I set up Carrie's bed. I put it over the register for the moment. the drawer that the register covers I have not put in and enough heat escapes from the hole that it keeps the room warm. In time I wanna move her to the bigger but let her get used to the bed before I move her rooms. rooms and bed may be too much for her all at once.
Anyway, all in all I feel pretty content and happy with where things are going! Can't wait to see what the rest of the list brings on. Think the next thing to work on is finding a vehicle and person to let me practise driving with their car!!! Be prepared to take the test just after the snow melts! he he he!!!!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Another way too long day!
I am tired as I sit here and write. Glad, impatient and tired. So, I think this will be my rant at the world.
Life stinks today. It just feels yucky today! It didn't even start out ok. Was awoken by a baby. That not a bad thing in general. I just like having a few minutes to wake before she is up. I usually get that and when I don't I get grumpy. Then nothing seemed to be ok after that. I had a girl that was having a crankier day. Either crankier or I was just on edge and it got more on my nerves. Either way, yuck. I also had a mom with the same cranky predicament! And it snowed. Just enough to make my mom continually comment on how hard it would be to drive me to work. So I called in saying the snow was too much for my driver. Guess what happens 20 minutes after. It stops snowing and the snow plow goes by. But, do I go into work, nope! But I do however go and get the mattress for Carrie's twin bed. So, all the parts are here for her to have a big girl bed. Now to put it together!
So, I figure lets do something exciting and productive. Lets put her bed together. I was really excited because I went and bought all new things for her bed including a Dora comforter set! So, off we go. Dad starts setting up the new frame and carrie and I take down the crib and clear the room for the frame and bed. After we take the bed down we wait, and wait, and wait. Well, at 9:30 we are still waiting for dad to finish the drawers to the frame. Nothing else is put together yet. 3 hours to make 3 drawers! If this is a sign of how long things are going to take, it will be well into next week when we finally get her into her bed!
So, I decided to make bedtime fun for Carrie and I. I put the crib mattress into my bedroom and made it all nice and extra cozy for her and said we were going to have a sleepover in mommy`s room. Well, she was not happy with that. She was expecting to sleep in her big girl bed tonight and was even less happy when I did put her to bed. The reality of not tonight was not sitting well with her! I very scared that she is losing the interest in her bed because it is taking SO long. Hell, if I would have known that we wouldn`t have the bed up tonight I would have left the crib up and disrupted everything tomorrow!!!
What an ass backwards day. Not that anything really went horribly wrong, it just was ass backwards. Truth be told I think it started yesterday. Was another one of those days yesterday too. Had customers yellilng and swearing at me and a tired mom when I was at home and a truck that didn`t start, so we couldn`t pick up the bed yesterday. Can`t wait to see what happens tomorrow!
ok, now that its all out there I think I better now! Tomorrow has to be better, I gonna make it so that it is better! Will look for the cuddles tomorrow and the smiles from those that give them to me! and the hope that tomorrow is a finishing day! Think that is all!
Oh, nope. Just thought of something else to complain about. I don`t think there is enough room for the bed in Carrie`s room. Where I want to put it there is a heat register and if I put it on the other wall there is a closet I am blocking off. Oh the joys of it all!!! Crap. That just makes tomorrow interesting. Hopefully I think of something creative through the night. That will be my question for sleep. Find a solution for it!
Ok, well I think I am going to bed! Have a sweet and restful night!
Life stinks today. It just feels yucky today! It didn't even start out ok. Was awoken by a baby. That not a bad thing in general. I just like having a few minutes to wake before she is up. I usually get that and when I don't I get grumpy. Then nothing seemed to be ok after that. I had a girl that was having a crankier day. Either crankier or I was just on edge and it got more on my nerves. Either way, yuck. I also had a mom with the same cranky predicament! And it snowed. Just enough to make my mom continually comment on how hard it would be to drive me to work. So I called in saying the snow was too much for my driver. Guess what happens 20 minutes after. It stops snowing and the snow plow goes by. But, do I go into work, nope! But I do however go and get the mattress for Carrie's twin bed. So, all the parts are here for her to have a big girl bed. Now to put it together!
So, I figure lets do something exciting and productive. Lets put her bed together. I was really excited because I went and bought all new things for her bed including a Dora comforter set! So, off we go. Dad starts setting up the new frame and carrie and I take down the crib and clear the room for the frame and bed. After we take the bed down we wait, and wait, and wait. Well, at 9:30 we are still waiting for dad to finish the drawers to the frame. Nothing else is put together yet. 3 hours to make 3 drawers! If this is a sign of how long things are going to take, it will be well into next week when we finally get her into her bed!
So, I decided to make bedtime fun for Carrie and I. I put the crib mattress into my bedroom and made it all nice and extra cozy for her and said we were going to have a sleepover in mommy`s room. Well, she was not happy with that. She was expecting to sleep in her big girl bed tonight and was even less happy when I did put her to bed. The reality of not tonight was not sitting well with her! I very scared that she is losing the interest in her bed because it is taking SO long. Hell, if I would have known that we wouldn`t have the bed up tonight I would have left the crib up and disrupted everything tomorrow!!!
What an ass backwards day. Not that anything really went horribly wrong, it just was ass backwards. Truth be told I think it started yesterday. Was another one of those days yesterday too. Had customers yellilng and swearing at me and a tired mom when I was at home and a truck that didn`t start, so we couldn`t pick up the bed yesterday. Can`t wait to see what happens tomorrow!
ok, now that its all out there I think I better now! Tomorrow has to be better, I gonna make it so that it is better! Will look for the cuddles tomorrow and the smiles from those that give them to me! and the hope that tomorrow is a finishing day! Think that is all!
Oh, nope. Just thought of something else to complain about. I don`t think there is enough room for the bed in Carrie`s room. Where I want to put it there is a heat register and if I put it on the other wall there is a closet I am blocking off. Oh the joys of it all!!! Crap. That just makes tomorrow interesting. Hopefully I think of something creative through the night. That will be my question for sleep. Find a solution for it!
Ok, well I think I am going to bed! Have a sweet and restful night!
Friday, January 7, 2011
To have and to hold!!!
I can't help but laugh at some people. I keep reading this is the year to. . . from so many people. It just seems so odd and funny to hear how people wanna change this or that and, like me, have little or nothing to show for it! I know I rarely have anything big to show for the false determination that I have at the begining of the year. Tis a great thing when people can put their minds to it and do it and I stand up and cheer very loudly when people have that kind of strenght. I think I laugh cuz I know I just like most that will likely lose the motivation to get anywhere really. I too comfortable in the past and right now to move foreward and actually change.
I know it not the best way to start an entry, but it brings a little more focus into what may come next. It also may just keep me into a mello bring the house down bantering. Either way, it just feels right tonight!
So, as for the bucket list, I have already started something. I have purchased a mattress for Carrie. I have the frame here already and we get the mattress on Thursday. So, next weekend she will be trying out her new big girl bed. Should be an interesting time. I think it will go with a couple really good nights then a portion of time to test the waters. This will be when she realizes that she can get out of bed any time that she wants to! This should be interesting. And we going to the mountains the last week of June. We are going to Radium and I have already put my holidays in to work. I know a little premature, but I just can't wait for it!
On the work front. I thought I was just casual over the christmas rush, but I was wrong. The let all of the seasonal workers go this week and I am still there. Which means they not letting me go!!! YAY, I get to stay. That is really cool. I am however still looking through news papers and stuff just in case something is to pop up. It is not a really big deal, just in case. You never know what pops up if you don't look.
I had a specialist call me yesterday. I am going to find out what is going on with me (maybe). I have not been regular in a long time and wonder what is wrong. It is not anything obvious so to a specialist I go. The doctor thinks that is has to be an imbalance in my hormones. Either that or stress. Either way this specialist can tell better than he can. Not that I complaining, but I have not been a real lady since March last year. Not a spec of anything ladylike. Has been nice not to have that worry, but I wonder what is happening.
Tomorrow I am going to start looking into smoking and my eating habits again. I am going to start a journal of what, how much, why and whatnot for both. Have been totally slacking off with everything within the holiday season and need to reboot it all up again. It should prove interesting. Although with how much my little girl keeps me going it could prove difficult. Will have to find a way to include her in all of it. Maybe get her to remind me of what we ate or draw some pictures or something. We will see how it goes.
Anyways, I think I am done for tonight. Will discuss how things go in a little while.
I know it not the best way to start an entry, but it brings a little more focus into what may come next. It also may just keep me into a mello bring the house down bantering. Either way, it just feels right tonight!
So, as for the bucket list, I have already started something. I have purchased a mattress for Carrie. I have the frame here already and we get the mattress on Thursday. So, next weekend she will be trying out her new big girl bed. Should be an interesting time. I think it will go with a couple really good nights then a portion of time to test the waters. This will be when she realizes that she can get out of bed any time that she wants to! This should be interesting. And we going to the mountains the last week of June. We are going to Radium and I have already put my holidays in to work. I know a little premature, but I just can't wait for it!
On the work front. I thought I was just casual over the christmas rush, but I was wrong. The let all of the seasonal workers go this week and I am still there. Which means they not letting me go!!! YAY, I get to stay. That is really cool. I am however still looking through news papers and stuff just in case something is to pop up. It is not a really big deal, just in case. You never know what pops up if you don't look.
I had a specialist call me yesterday. I am going to find out what is going on with me (maybe). I have not been regular in a long time and wonder what is wrong. It is not anything obvious so to a specialist I go. The doctor thinks that is has to be an imbalance in my hormones. Either that or stress. Either way this specialist can tell better than he can. Not that I complaining, but I have not been a real lady since March last year. Not a spec of anything ladylike. Has been nice not to have that worry, but I wonder what is happening.
Tomorrow I am going to start looking into smoking and my eating habits again. I am going to start a journal of what, how much, why and whatnot for both. Have been totally slacking off with everything within the holiday season and need to reboot it all up again. It should prove interesting. Although with how much my little girl keeps me going it could prove difficult. Will have to find a way to include her in all of it. Maybe get her to remind me of what we ate or draw some pictures or something. We will see how it goes.
Anyways, I think I am done for tonight. Will discuss how things go in a little while.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
as the wind howls....
As the wind howls in my ear I sit here and ponder all that is and all that was. Today is the where do I start and how do I finish. All the thoughts and ideas swirl around in my head like fish enjoying a current in the water. There are shimmers of light and darkness and all forms inbetween. I am amazed by the plight and relocation of all thoughts within an already swirling mind. You can get lost in all the ways a thought can take you.
The reality is starting to kick in. All the movements within the mind are slowing and just as quickly as they come they are gone. Wishing all that has entertained me for what seems to be hours could continue for all the days left. I realize this thought rollercoaster has taken only minutes to take me away to such a glorius place. As much as glorious, the reality of it all makes my skin crawl.
ok, now to fill in the rambling stated above. Just thinking of how all the things I have on the list are going to be completed within the year. Some are such great ideas and make my heart soar just waiting to do them and others literally make my skin crawl to think of the things needed to be done to complete them. All the things I can't wait to see seem so far away. Today not a good day for the zoo or taking Carrie to the mountains or even outside! I really can't wait to see how she blossoms and grows this year. Big year for her, full of potential and endless possiblities. I purchased her bed yesterday, so late next week will be the start of a big girl bed and the end of a baby crib. The only baby thing left to go are the diapers then I will have a full fledged little person capable of all things I am capable of! I believe she will flourish with the going into a daycare setting as well. Get her seeing with others her age are doing!
As usual I ponder the hows of changing myself. Why is it so difficult to get the get up and go when it involes one self. I read how everyone is changing this year and I know I must as well, but I am a little jealous of other peoples drive to succeed. They sound so determined and I wonder where mine is!
Before I start berrating myself I will stop writing and tend to the thing that makes me the happiest. My little tike is awake and I must go and cuddle her!
The reality is starting to kick in. All the movements within the mind are slowing and just as quickly as they come they are gone. Wishing all that has entertained me for what seems to be hours could continue for all the days left. I realize this thought rollercoaster has taken only minutes to take me away to such a glorius place. As much as glorious, the reality of it all makes my skin crawl.
ok, now to fill in the rambling stated above. Just thinking of how all the things I have on the list are going to be completed within the year. Some are such great ideas and make my heart soar just waiting to do them and others literally make my skin crawl to think of the things needed to be done to complete them. All the things I can't wait to see seem so far away. Today not a good day for the zoo or taking Carrie to the mountains or even outside! I really can't wait to see how she blossoms and grows this year. Big year for her, full of potential and endless possiblities. I purchased her bed yesterday, so late next week will be the start of a big girl bed and the end of a baby crib. The only baby thing left to go are the diapers then I will have a full fledged little person capable of all things I am capable of! I believe she will flourish with the going into a daycare setting as well. Get her seeing with others her age are doing!
As usual I ponder the hows of changing myself. Why is it so difficult to get the get up and go when it involes one self. I read how everyone is changing this year and I know I must as well, but I am a little jealous of other peoples drive to succeed. They sound so determined and I wonder where mine is!
Before I start berrating myself I will stop writing and tend to the thing that makes me the happiest. My little tike is awake and I must go and cuddle her!
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