Well, it has been quite awhile since the last time that I posted. And boy have things changed, and not in a good way. There is no good progress in anything that I have planned and worked towards. I have lost all gumtion to do any of the goals that I have set myself up for. All of the reasons why are still there, just can't I muster enough of myself to continue with what I need to do. Am back to smoking 20 cigarettes a day and not caring at all about how I feel or weigh!
Can't tell you exactly what changed. Was kind of a wake up one morning without any motivation to keep trying. I mean, really, what can I change!. I am only one and it is too easy to not change over the change. What part of all of this did I do wrong. I keep letting the non motivation win and I don't know how to change it! maybe I don't want to change it!
Who knows what is going on with me. All I know is that I have failed all that believe (again).
Please stand by for another small spurt of motivation, only to be flawed with the lake of persistance that always breaks me!!!
You keep letting the non-motivation win. That's exactly what you are doing wrong. Fight back.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are depressed. Push through it. Find something to make you laugh, or smile, at least once a day. Your daughter, a cartoon, a breath of fresh air. Bird song, cultural history, just being alive!
I believe in you.