Cheers to the learning!!!

Well, I have been amazed by my little girl! Just when I thought all was going to be the same forever she went and taught herself something. We have been trying for a long while to learn how to pee in the potty with very little success at all. It was nothing for her to sit on the potty, but nothing would ever happen. Then, out of the blue, she ran herself to the bathroom. That is not surprising, because she usually does that, but she peed and pooped. It shocked the hell out of me. no promting, no reminding her, she just went and did it.

At that moment I was SSSOOO excited for her!  realization soon kicked in when she wet herself soon after. At that point I thought, it was just a fluke. But yet again the next day she ran herself to the bathroom twice. That is when it hit me, just let her do it. When she was ready she will just do it and that is all. I know I have to let her get it on her own, that is the way she always has been, but mom needs to help!  It has been a week since she has done this and throughout the day she has 1 accident a day, but we are always close to the bathroom or just late pulling down her panty. So, it is there and she is really getting it!  It is also already setting in her night routine. She woke me last night to go potty! She didn't pee, but the idea was there that she needed to!

She amazes me so much. Just when I get into a rut and stuck in the mundaine, she pulls something out of her sleeve and it makes me rethink it all again!!! I truly and whole heartedly have to thank whoever sent her to me. She has totally opened my eyes to what can be done, and how sweet it all is! If I ever forget that.... all are free to smack me in the head til I remember!

Now that the amazement has been commented on, here is something else that is on my mind. I guess it is another form of amazement, just other end of spectrum. I have been sitting back and listening to people for awhile and the things that people not only think, but say are beyond me!  All relating to the fires in Slave Lake. There are comments about how they are already starting to milk the system and the choices people made while evacuating!! It seems people have such a small scope of seeing things that they can't fathom other things could be possible!! Not that I am never guilty of this, but it is just getting to me right now!!!  It is all over work, and it isn't just for slave lake!

that is all ofr now, have to go get ready for work!

I've been too gone, for too long....

and it's too late to come home now!!  If someone can tell me who sings that I would be very impressed!   And yes, it has been too long since I have been in here and writing. There is a simple answer for that. It's because nothing good has happened.
 
I have totally slipped on everything that I am working on!  I don't keep track of anything anymore and I do just what I have to to keep on going throughout the day. I am gaining weight and not caring at all about it.

Work is mundain and boring. I don't wanna be there or anywhere else. Just lost all umph for doing anything. Even the things that I love and fully enjoy doing with miss Carrie are dull.

I know, it sounds like depression and it probably is! Just have no jump for anything.


Anyway, someone wanted an update, so here it is! Hope you like it!! he he he

Welcome back!

As I sit here tonight, the juke box playing .... it brings memories when I was a trusting wife.... its a shame that all the blame is on us women.... it wasn't god who made honky tonk angels!!!   Tis the song that is running through my head. I know that is not how it goes but who said things are suppost to go in order! I am in a reminising kind of a mood tonight. As I sit here with a house of just me and Carrie. It is almost like sitting all in my own I start to think back to when it was just me. The parties, the outings, the doing anything whenever, and the going home to the cat! Don't read that wrong, I love my cat, but the little girl running to the door screaming mommy mommy is better! although someone coming to the door saying honey I missed you would be nice too!!  Still, nothing beats the little feet running is the best!

Well, on the perky side. I down to 9 smokes a day. Have been really struggling with this number. Not sure why, but this one is hard. Have been here for ove a week and just can't move foreward. I know it is me holding me back and not letting me get farther. Just gotta get that push going again to keep on going! The push will come back, just gotta find the right wind again! Until that wind comes I will just hold the fort as it is!

Weight is slowly going down again. I am down 3 pounds. I hit a depressing moment recently. I had to buy myself a new bathing suit and it wasn't a good expereince. I have never had to buy such a big bathing suit before! It was quite heart wrenching!  just another push to get into the sizes that I used to be in!

anyway, am getting tired, I think!  Think I just in a mood to sit in the quiet and be one with me. Has been a long time!  Good night!

just to catch everyone up.... including me!

So, welcome to the reading area! It is a grande area, for of glorious trees and vast streams. You can hear birds chirpping and the light breeze makes the leaves rustle. Ah, what a wonderful place. Now take a deep breathe and slowly exhale!

Now, that I have made you all calm and serene I will start with my rant. Not sure why I chose to write that first, just thought it would be different! Kinda tells the mood I am in too! Feel a little goofy today, which is a good thing!

Well, as for the things I am working on. I am sadly up 2 pounds so far. Ah, guess I can't always go down, that would be just wrong! lol   Today I am at 12 smokes for the day. was at 15 yesterday and I will have 1 more today. Found 14 tough to hold onto. So, this is going to be my goal for the next little while!!! 

Not really much more to say right now! Just thought I would quickly update and be done with it all. Will write more when things change!


AND SLEEP!!!!!

Oh Holy Hell !!!!

What a quaint little while. I am starting not to like work. Well, half and half. I love the idea of going to work, and I like interacting with the people, I just don't like the push. Not sure why this is bugging me so much but it is. They are pushing me to sell these Mastercard things and I hate the idea of it!  It makes me feel just yucky asking about it!! I just can't put my finger on why they pushing so hard for it. They has even been word that they can write you up for it, because it is in your job duties! Not that I have seen this first hand, but if the word is out there, there must be some truth to it!  So, I am trying to decide wether to suck it up or tell someone how I feel about it.

Anyway, I am almost through week one, and surprise, I am down 1 pound!  Couldn't believe it, but I will take it none the less!  So 5 more til I see 200!!! Yay me.

I got my haircut today. I feel decent yet again!  I also took my baby swimming today. Was a really nice time with her. We haven't done much outside the house together in awhile! I think she enjoyed it too! She is growing so fast, I wonder where that little girl that I used to cuddle and feed with a bottle!  AH

As for the smoking, these are the last few days of baselining! I have looked at last week and here is what I am seeing. The average is about 20 smokes a day and they are mainly when Carrie gives me a moment break or when I am bored, or routine times. Routine times are after meals and first thing in the morning. So, I am going to start with 16 smokes a day as of Monday and cut it down every 4 to 5 days. May cut some days numbers sooner, if I can handle it, but will go no more than 5 days with 1 number. So, if the numbering system goes well, I will be done in March. Yes, still a long ways away, but it will come closer than one thinks. I am thinking of making quit date between Feb 28 and March 11. My parents are going on a trip during that time and I will have 1 less distraction to detter me! Although my sister and brother in law will be here then and they will have that temptation. I should just throw myself in, because the temptation will always be there, but less temptation in the beginning would be great! 


As for driving offer, I have had people offer me, just gotta make some plans to actually do it!  GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA!!!! lol

Anyway, think that is all for now. Will plan a write soon!

Things on the GO!!!

Well, I have more things on the go. I have planned a mountain trip with my little girl!! Yay, Radium, here we come!  Just 21 weeks away. On that not, I have 21 weeks to get my tummy down some. would be nice to, for once, not be so self aware while getting my bathing suit on! So, it is on, weight loss here I come! If you think about it, 2 pounds a week is healthy loss. So, if I aim for 40, it could definatly be a possibility! I am truly shooting for 20 pounds. That would mean that I could check off all the weight goals for the bucket list. 40 would be a greater number. It would mean that I would be the lightest that I can ever remember. Thik it has been stated before, but the lowest I remember is 167. 40 pounds would put me at 166!!!  Wow, the idea of being light is astounding!

I have also started a saving account. I have put $600 into an account and am going to add at least $200 per month from now on! If all works right I could have $2000 by end of August. That should be enough to start a place of our own. It is official that WE WILL be moved out on our own by end of year! Would like to make it an August move, but September or October move would be ok too. Would like to stay out here for the summer, so that we can be part of all the wonderful things of out here. The garden, a big yard, a park just a bikeride away and the weekend camping trips!  I will start looking at finding a different job come the summer and work from there.

I am also looking for someone to let me practise driving with their car. Mom leary of me driving in winter. My dear Lea thinks it would be good to practise now, and I agree with her!  I have the gumption to practise now and I fear if I wait til spring that I will lose interest in it!

My little girl is doing great in her new bed. I was starting to wonder about it when there was3 nights where she awoke in the middle of the night and did not want to return to sleep. Oddly enough, after the 3 days she has slept through the night. Well, last night she awoke, but it was because she had fallen onto the floor! he he he. If she wouldn't have fallen, I bet she would not have woken up! 

Think that is all for now!

It started!!!!!

I get to start checking off my bucket list for the year! They are little things but I don't care.

First thing to check off is number 18. As of yesterday her big girl bed is set up and in use. night number 2 and no problems so far. Just waiting for the first fall out of bed and the wondering out of bed 10 times in a night to start happening!  It is so exciting! I can't wait for those things because it is all part and parcel!

Second thing I get to check off is number 14. She peed in the potty for me today! Granted it was not a big pee, it was still a pee. That means she is on her way to knowing what to do on the potty. I made such a big deal out of it. I sang, danced, hugged, high fived her and everything. It was great. I didn't think I would get that excited over a little pee, but I did!  Hope it is incentive for Carrie to try more often!

If I keep going at this rate I will have the list done by October!  That would be rather fancy. Although I think I may have to revamp the list just a little. I have on 9 and 10 work of either staying at the house and being on our own. I am going to have to ponder wether we stay here or if we are going to go. This way I can make a more defined thing to shoot for. If I am going to put my efforts towards moving out, then I will put less emphasis on having own form of transportation and vise versa. Unless it is in somewhere like moving to Morinville!  That could defenatly be an option for us. Away from the parents, but still close enough that they can come see us as often as they like. Guess it would be based on where I can find work and such. In a place like morinville I would need to have transportation though! still far enough away that those that want to see us or us to see them can contact, but those that have no interest can stay away! hhmmm.... the possibilities. Guess St. Albert works for that as well. Then I would not have to worry so much about finding the job quite yet!!   Well, that will be my thoughts for the next couple of days!!

As for how I set up Carrie's bed. I put it over the register for the moment. the drawer that the register covers I have not put in and enough heat escapes from the hole that it keeps the room warm. In time I wanna move her to the bigger but let her get used to the bed before I move her rooms. rooms and bed may be too much for her all at once.

Anyway, all in all I feel pretty content and happy with where things are going! Can't wait to see what the rest of the list brings on. Think the next thing to work on is finding a vehicle and person to let me practise driving with their car!!! Be prepared to take the test just after the snow melts! he he he!!!!